Beer And Birth Plans

Sydney Morning Herald

Thursday December 2, 2004

Ben Wyld.

Holding information sessions about childbirth in a pub is proving popular with blokes, reports Ben Wyld.

It's a time-honoured tradition for new fathers to "wet the baby's head" by having a few beers with their mates after the birth. But mixing talk of childbirth with a few beers well before the baby is born might be a better approach.

That's what a group of men - some with their wives or partners, others flying solo for the night - found themselves doing one evening last month at Killara's Greengate Hotel. Juggling schooners with pens and noteboooks, they were at a childbirth support workshop, the brainchild of Lucy Perry and Alyssa Rainier, trained doulas (a Greek word that means "woman's servant", otherwise known as childbirth support partners).

Simon Lander is getting in early. His partner, Ange, isn't due until April. "I just want as much information as possible," says the 29-year-old.

Perry and Rainier, who set up a doula network with three other women after completing their training this year, felt there was a gap in the information resources provided for first-time fathers at conventional classes.

They also believed that by holding the information session in a pub rather than a community health centre or hospital seminar room, men could learn how best to support their wives and partners in a more familiar and less intimidating venue.

Perry says conventional birth classes lack the gutsy, practical information men want.

Not that the sessions are designed to replace birth or prenatal classes, Perry says. But the 2 1/2-hour session is designed to give men tools to help support their partners.

"One of the most common things I heard when I was pregnant was from guys saying how helpless they felt [during their partner's labour] and there was nothing they could do," Perry says. "But there's heaps they can do and they shouldn't be sitting down."

Perry and Rainier also go through a list of what partners should say and what they should NOT say during childbirth.

For some example, some well-meaning fathers complain about how boring and slow the labour is, which can impact negatively on the labouring mother. Negativity should be avoided.

Men can also be the advocate for the mother, responsible for ensuring her wishes are followed and emotional needs met. But that doesn't mean "jumping down everyone's throat", Perry says.

Perhaps the most vital role first-time dads can play is helping the mother manage her pain.

Perry says that although the body's naturally occurring endorphins are 300 times more powerful than morphine, the adrenaline produced by the body's natural fear response can block endorphin production.

To help reduce adrenaline production, partners can try to appeal to some of the birthing mother's other senses.

In the initial stages of labour, it could involve trying to make your partner laugh. Providing your partner with favourite pictures or telling them a story about a shared experience can also help "confuse" the nerve pathways and keep mum relaxed.

Heat packs and warm showers or baths can help deviate pain. Sound, such as playing a favourite CD in the background or, surprisingly enough, shaking a rattle, can also be useful.

"Some people really like it but it has to be in the right ear, at the right rhythm for every contraction," Perry says. "And that can be really exhausting [for the dad] if you've been standing in a bath massaging a woman for six hours."

Unexpected outcomes and preferred options in case of an emergency should also be considered and written down beforehand as part of a "birth plan" that can be referred to if necessary by the father.

Couples should also consider what they would do in the event of a stillbirth, Perry says.

"It's important to have thought about it before you're in the throes of it," she Perry. "You may want to dress the baby and take some photos or some hand and feet prints with ink that doesn't stain the skin."

But for the vast majority of births (Perry says 1 per cent of births in Australia is not live), couples will have a positive outcome and should consider how to spend those initial minutes or hours as a family.

"This is the first chance for your paternal instincts to kick in and protect your partner and baby," says Perry, who encourages couples to enjoy time alone before making phone calls to relatives.

For Phil and Sharon Blair, who are expecting their first child right about now, the session - which included a dinner break at the restaurant - proved useful.

The relaxed pub setting was far less intimidating than a hospital or health care centre, Phil says.

The information had also helped ease his fears.

"I now know more about what my part can be and [how I can] not stuff up," he says. "I'm armed with information about how I can be useful."

DRINK TO THAT

The childbirth support partner sessions are run at the Greengate Hotel, Killara, on the first Monday night (from 7pm) of every month (except January). The session costs $35 per person and includes dinner. For more information visit www.yourbirth.org