No Longer A Gibbering Wreck, Just Paternally Grateful

Sydney Morning Herald

Tuesday April 11, 2006

Bellinda Kontominas

CHILDBIRTH will always be a mother's job, but first-time father Ali Chami could not help but become involved.

"I'm exhausted," Mr Chami said. "I think I'm more tired than my wife is, and my stomach muscles hurt from all the pushing I did while she was in labour."

Mr Chami's son was born at Bankstown Hospital on Sunday night. He admitted he was "very excited" about fatherhood but felt overwhelmed and unprepared for what was to come.

Another new dad, Kim Tran, had been to a prenatal class two months ago but was scared of changing the nappies because his son, born on Sunday morning was so small.

Along with other new fathers in south-west Sydney, they are the target of a new program to encourage dads to play a greater role in their partners' pregnancy and childbirth.

The $10,000 pilot project, funded by the State Government's Families First program, will run at Bankstown, Fairfield and Liverpool hospitals. As part of the program, male volunteers will give advice to fathers in antenatal and postnatal wards. New dads will also receive a starter kit with advice on dealing with changes in their relationships, during and after the pregnancy.

Carol Stevens, Sydney South West Area Health Service manager for parenting projects, said fathers often felt excluded from the first stages of their child's life and this could have a negative impact on the entire family.

"It's really about the dads forming a very personal relationship with the baby, even before birth," she said. "When men come on board and become involved they feel more supported and it's better for their wellbeing."

Research published last year in The Lancet medical journal backs Ms Stevens's claims. It showed that pregnancy and childbirth were high-risk times for men to develop depression.

"Many fathers are very scared and there's a lot of pressure on them to be the perfect dad, the perfect husband and have the perfect family," said Warwick Moriarty, a certified midwife at Bankstown Hospital.

He said childbirth was traumatic for men who were seeing their partner in a new light, often screaming and in distress during labour. "They're often scared they won't cope."