Women's Wisdom Born To A New Generation

The Sunday Age

Sunday March 9, 2008

John Elder

FOUR nights ago, Diana Setiawan woke in the middle of the night with her first contraction of childbirth.

In the days leading up to the moment, her doctor told her to relax, rest, save her strength. On the telephone after her contraction, the hospital said she could spend the first hours of labour at home - but if she really needed serious pain relief, then come on in.

"They gave me pethidine and gas. And later an epidural. The labor lasted 18 hours, but . . . not too hard," she said.

Yesterday, on International Women's Day, baby Stella was dozing on one side of Diana's bed. Shock of soft black hair, pretty little face, a sudden foetal-like stretching when disturbed by a touch or the breath of her father, Darwin.

On the other side of the bed, Diana's mother, Ping, told her story of childbirth in Jakarta.

"We had no epidural in my country then, no pain relief. And instead of a (sanitary) napkin for the bleeding we wore a cotton cloth you had to fix with pins. Just like we had to with the baby because there were no disposable nappies."

We were talking in a comfortable room with ensuite at St Vincents Private Hospital. Diana talked about how, after the epidural wore off and she could feel her legs again, she was urged to walk around.

Ping recalled how she wasn't allowed to walk around for a few days, being confined to bed. "And yet when I was coming close to giving birth I was told to stay active . . . while Diana was told to rest," said Ping. "It's all been turned around."

The two women, mother and daughter, hadn't talked much about the generational differences in giving birth.

But yesterday, as Ping customarily noted how the new wave of women were "maybe a little spoilt", Diana smiled and went to say something thoughtful. At that point, the baby woke up. The new generation was having its say.